In the scramble to find something, anything, to generate more revenue, states are considering new taxes on virtually everything: garbage pickup, dating services, bowling night, haircuts, even clowns.

“It’s hard enough doing what we do,” grumbled John Luke, a plumber in the Philadelphia suburbs. His services would, for the first time, come with an added tax if the governor has his way.

Opponents of imposing taxes on services like funerals, legal advice, helicopter rides and dry cleaning argue that this push comes as businesses are barely clinging to life and can ill afford to see customers further put off by new taxes. This is especially true, they say, in states like Michigan and Pennsylvania, where some of the most sweeping proposals are being considered this spring.

Not in Indiana. Somehow, Indiana has been affected by the recession just as much, if not more than Michigan and Pennsylvania, yet we’re ok. Gee, I wonder what the difference could be…

California’s debt is seen by investors as riskier than Kazakhstan’s, according to Bloomberg News. Five-year credit default swaps tied to California’s debt, which are a key measure of the market’s belief in the likelihood of default, are actually trading at 100 basis points above those of Kazakhstan. In other words, the market believes a developing country of just 15.7 million people is actually less likely to default on its debt than California, which makes up the eighth-largest economy in the world.

…

And last week, Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan, the nation’s second largest bank, warned that California’s $20 billion budget gap could pose a bigger risk than the Greek debt crisis.

In other news, here in the Midwest, where rational people live:

During the fat years of the mid-2000s, while most governors went on spending sprees, Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels was trimming Indiana’s payroll, slowing the state government’s growth, and turning a $800 million deficit into a consistent surplus. Now that times are hard, his fiscal rigor is paying off: the state’s projected budget shortfall for 2011, as a percentage of the budget, is the third-lowest in the country.

Proposed legislation making some teens’ practice of sending racy photos by cell phone a juvenile offense in Indiana appears headed for a summer legislative study committee to iron out policy problems.

Maybe some of my older readers can answer this question for me: what did 14 year olds do before sexting? I have a feeling it was actually being in the same room. Frankly, sexting is probably a good thing for parents. Let little Jimmy see Susie on his cell phone in his bedroom instead of actually being in the same room as Susie and going much further. To criminalize sexting dilutes the sex offender registry and just wastes time. I’ve checked the registry in my part of town and it’s mostly really old creepy guys or, more likely, a bunch of 18, 19 and 20 year olds who no doubt got caught with a slightly younger girl who was, for legal purposes, a juvenile.

Back to sexting, though. When I was in school, everyone used webcams to flaunt their naughty bits. I imagine before that everyone sent photos in emails and I suspect before that we all had phone sex. I bet as you go further back, people were probably etching themselves doing kinky stuff on cave walls.

Deal with it people.

Gay Marriage Passes In 9 States After Area Homosexual Dunks On Regulation Rim

MONTGOMERY, AL—A two-handed slam dunk by an openly homosexual man set off a chain of events this week that culminated in the legalization of gay marriage in nine states, including Mississippi and Alabama. “When I saw that dunk, I was like, ‘Whoa!’” said Alabama state Sen. Hinton Mitchem, adding that his office was flooded with calls and e-mails from constituents demanding legal recognition of same-sex marriages following the slam. “A guy with nasty moves like that should be entitled to the same fundamental rights as the rest of us.” On Thursday, the New York State Senate passed a resolution declaring that it would take a pretty sweet roundhouse kick from a gay mixed martial arts champion before it would allow homosexuals to marry.

In Indiana, it’ll require a Colts Superbowl win. Maybe two in a row. And, it wouldn’t hurt if Peyton Manning were gay.

INDIANAPOLIS — The Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles is trying to save drivers a trip to BMV branch offices.

The BMV said Tuesday it has started offering online driver’s license renewals at the agency’s Web site. Officials also announced the BMV will allow people to renew vehicle registrations by phone, and they can go to certain AAA Hoosier Motor Club offices to renew driver’s licenses and identification cards.

The changes are the agency’s latest efforts to give customers more choices, BMV Commissioner Andy Miller said.

Although, just across the hall at Government Center South is FSSA, which, evidently, is the epitome of automation run amok with no goals, no efforts and no clue.

Gov. Mitch Daniels this morning announced an additional $300 million to $400 million in state spending cuts, including no pay raises for state employees and a moratorium on most state building projects.

Daniels said the cuts are necessary after state revenue projections missed for the fourth straight month. State tax collections in October were $46 million, or 4 percent, short of projections.

I’m not entirely sure how much more Gov. Daniels can cut before his powers as a governor are tapped dry. For now, they’re offering voluntary unpaid leave to state employees, plus an additional 5% cut to spending on top of the 5% whack back in July. Forgoing pay raises for this year will save the state an additional $20 million. The last arrow in his quiver is going to be employee furloughs for weeks at a time.

At least we can still claim, “We’re not California”. As Colbert said earlier this week, “California is so broke they tried burning it down for the insurance money.”

The states are scored on these taxes, and the scores are weighted based on the relative importance or impact of the tax to a business. Keeping a state competitive in today’s global marketplace can be difficult, but there is one factor lawmakers have direct control over: the quality of state tax systems. The Index measures how well a state’s tax system encourages investment by maintaining a broad tax base and low rates.

Where do other states rank? Glad you asked…

The top 10 states in the 2010 Index, from 1st to 10th, are South Dakota, Wyoming, Alaska, Nevada, Florida, Montana, New Hampshire, Delaware, Washington and Utah. The bottom 10 states, from 41st to 50th, are Vermont, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Rhode Island, Maryland, Iowa, Ohio, California, New York and New Jersey.

Maybe instead of looking for business investment in China, Gov. Daniels should just go to New York, California and New Jersey.

My name is Justin Harter. I’m a home-owning, tax-paying resident of Indianapolis’ Warren Township. Aside from all the banter regarding township government in Marion County, I have a more important issue. It’s about the Homestead Tax Deduction.

You see, I bought my house in October of 2007. I was told that because the home I bought wasn’t owner-occupied prior to my purchase, I would need to file for a Homestead Tax Deduction. Currently, my mortgage for a modest three bedroom home north of Beech Grove costs $906 a month. That includes principal, taxes and insurance.

I filed for my deduction in November 2007. Gov. Daniels, you signed an order extending the Homestead Tax Deduction deadline a few months when taxpayers erupted at poor assessments in Marion County. Unfortunately, I still did not get covered. That meant I had to wait until May before the changes would, in theory, take effect.

No such luck. Since Indiana pays taxes one year in arrears, my tax deduction wouldn’t take effect until May 2008. At that point, I’d still have to wait ANOTHER year before I’d start seeing deductions on my monthly mortgage payments. I expect to save nearly $250-$300 a month when the deduction finally applies.

At this rate, over the last three years, come November 2009, I will have paid $9,000 in additional taxes that should never have applied in the first place if one could just walk to the Assessor’s office and simply file for the exemption and have the changes take effect in a few months.

In terms of our economy, do you know what I could do with an extra $250 a month? Or what I could do with $9,000? I could pay off nearly half of my car. Or, I could have been paying the same $906 a month and paid off my mortgage in a fraction of the 30 year term.

Has anyone given any thought to changing the way Indiana files Homestead Exemptions?

Sincerely,

Justin Harter

Indianapolis, District 89

Editor’s Note: This message has been mailed to Ind. Gov. Mitch Daniels (R) and State Rep. John Barnes (D., Indianapolis). 

Gov. Mitch Daniels on Monday defended his use of a state aircraft for a trip to Washington — a trip that was cut short Sunday when the plane’s windshield cracked.

…

The state Department of Administration said the plane costs $791 per hour for fuel, plus $184 in maintenance costs for each hour of flying time.

Daniels, who came to Washington for the National Governors Association’s winter meeting, said he had to use the state plane.

“I’m the cheapest date as a governor Indiana has ever had,” Daniels said, noting that he hadn’t even taken state troopers or other staff with him on the trip. “There was no commercial option that would have gotten me (to Washington on time). I would’ve had to come the night before and buy a hotel room and I don’t know what else.”

Asked whether it still might have been cheaper to fly commercial, even if that meant another night in a hotel, given the nearly $1,000 per hour cost of the state plane, Daniels said: “I have no idea.”

On the one hand, I don’t like the idea of my governor hanging around in hotels a day or two before and after a conference he legitimately needs to attend. I’d rather he be here in Indiana and hoping that he can get some work done in the meantime. On the other hand, I don’t like the sound of a nearly $1,000 per hour trip. I think it’s two hours one way to D.C., so that’s $4,000 round trip. Even a conservative estimate pegs that number at $3,000.

On second thought, I do have an idea. How about the Governor pack his bags, a laptop, a bluetooth headset with cell phone and trek off to these things on Southwest. Then, when you land, get a room in a Holiday Inn.

I hear that, unlike Indy, D.C. has a decent subway system. Buy a $4 ticket and go to your meeting. There, I just saved Indiana $2,500.

New research from Gallup indicates something totally awesome. Check out this map:

Check out Indiana! We don’t even make the Top Ten Republican States list anymore. Frankly, it’s good news for Indiana.

Then I read this disturbing story out California:

San Francisco — After a Lutheran school expelled two 16-year-old girls for having “a bond of intimacy” that was “characteristic of a lesbian relationship,” the girls sued, contending the school had violated a state anti-discrimination law.

In response to that suit, an appeals court decided this week that the private religious school was not a business and therefore did not have to comply with a state law that prohibits businesses from discriminating.

This borders on giving private schools the authority to discriminate. Maybe next year Indiana and California ought to switch shades of blue.