This Week’s Tweets

  • Who knew this existed? Google Moderator, helping you get input from any audience: http://www.google.com/moderator/ #
  • Developers: sound off – what's your favorite e-commerce system and why? #
  • New Rule: Tech devices must start auto-correcting "u" to "you" and "r" to "are". Or, you have to stop being lazy. #
  • Ray Skillman appears bent on taking over every car lot in Indianapolis. #
  • Aerosmith, complete with front-man Steven Tyler, will be on tour in 2010. #
  • Google now indexes audio, allows in-browser preview playback of popular artists via LaLa: http://bit.ly/aNxYO5 #
  • What's the safest neighborhood in Indy? Meridian Hills, where you have a 1 in 263 chance of being a crime victim. http://bit.ly/dwIIWZ #
  • "America is kicking ass and mispronouncing names all over the Winter Olympics!" #
  • If Colbert was as hilarious as he was last night with Olympic coverage, tonight is going to be a fun night! #
  • I'm off to teach the future of America. It's a brave new world when they give *me* the ability to teach young people. #
  • If Dems called Republican's out and made 'em filibuster, most R's are so old they'd likely drop dead doing all that talking. Let's do that. #

Dear Comcast…

I recently received a letter in the mail from Comcast, now known as Xfucutity, or something like that. The letter went something like this:

“Dear Comcast Customer, our records indicate that you do not currently have a digital cable TV box in your home. We are informing you that after March 16, we will be discontinuing our service of our basic digital cable package and homes will now be required to use a digital cable TV box.”

This makes me mad because I hate boxes and remotes. I loathe the fact that they actually call their piece of shit box “a cable TV box”. Seriously?

Because I’m a sentient human being with a desire to eat and live in shelter, I decided nearly 5 years ago that I would not be fleeced by Insight, (now Comcast) in Noblesville because I thought, “what if I move?” Sure enough, I moved. I moved to Fishers, where I still had Insight, but I thought, “what if I move?” Sure enough, I moved. All the while, thinking it silly to pay money for a box I’m likely not going to need for long. So, years ago I went to BestBuy and bought a $400 cable tuner and DVR combo – sorta like a Tivo, but with no subscription fees because I hate monthly fees. With a passion.

I figured that Comcast would charge me $156 a year to “rent” their digital TV box. After 2.5 years, I’d be saving money. Sure enough, I’ve saved $390 over the last 2.5 years because I don’t rent a “box”.

Now, Comcast is forcing me to rent the box. Or, they’ll give me one for free if I want to take their basic local channel package with the locals instead of the basic package I have now which has the standard cable lineup.

But, I don’t want the extra boxes because I don’t want more things to plug in, more things to look at and more remotes laying around. I want 1 remote called “the TV remote”. To watch TV Land should not require the startup of cathode rays, descramblers, LCDs, infrared and radiators. I want to watch Andy Griffith in my living room, not on the Starship Enterprise. Plus, Andy Griffith is 40 freaking years old. People used to watch it with a metal stick in the ground and a screen with two knobs. Somehow, we’ve lost our way.

Do not be surprised if I drop them entirely and stick with just the Internet, which I can still plug into the wall like God intended. And, Andy Griffith streams beautifully from a multitude of sites.

Why Does America Have These Discussions?

I’m just blown away this evening. First, this guy:

A 72-year old man spent so much time on hold with a state unemployment agency trying to claim his benefits that he racked up a $700 cell phone bill, reports Jeremy Joyola of Eyewitness News 4 in Albuquerque.

OK, first of all we’re not getting the whole story because he probably called a thousand times listening to the recording over and over and over again at 12 noon on a Monday. I know people that do that because they’re evidently incapable of following directions or are afraid to “press 1 for English”. Plus, who makes a phone call on a cell phone and says, “Well, I guess I’d better keep using this.” Do we not know what a “minute” plan equates to?

Next up, this gem:

[A]s many as one and a half million people living in rural areas might not be able to get broadcast television channels as part of their satellite television service because the impasse has blocked the extension of the law allowing satellite companies to carry those signals.

Solution: read a frackin’ book. Then you’ll learn that you shouldn’t stick with a satellite TV carrier that is, evidently, incapable of giving you local service so you can know when the weatherman is wrong. That, or don’t expect to get much of any service when you live in the middle of the inside of a mountain.

When I lived in Salem we never expected cable TV, water and sewage lines or hell, phone service that worked – cellular or wired. Why? Because we lived in the middle of nowhere. If you want to be somebody with something, go live somewhere. That’s what I did and now I get to blog more.

America: Too Fat for Bullets

We’re gonna need a bigger everything:

A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar. Samantha Lynn Frazier said she heard two pops when she walked into Herman’s Place early Saturday. The 35-year-old then felt pain and saw blood on her hand after she grabbed her left side. Atlantic City police said Frazier was an innocent bystander.

Frazier also told the newspaper that she had been “hollering” that she wanted to lose weight. She now said “I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.”

Think about that the next time you see a fat cop. Suddenly, we’ve built some real RoboCops out there.