Nature is a stupid piece of shit

I’m in French Lick this week working at the annual Judicial Conference. In order to save everyone money all around, I’m staying with my Dad in the next county over. This means I have a 30 minute commute each morning. No big deal.

Yesterday, the first morning, I hit a opossum. I figured I was helping evolution, because it didn’t even blink or bother moving out of my way. It was a country road and no, there was no room to swerve without flying off the road.

This morning, however, nature decided to send two deer my way. One deer scampered along and into a field. The other hit a fence and, being the shit-faced, vindictive piece of deer tard that it is, slammed face-first into the side of my car, just in front of my driver’s side rearview mirror. No scratches, but a big ass dent remains that I’ll have to pay for because the bastard ran away before we could swap information.

The kicker? I stopped several feet from where the deer were. I was a stationary vehicle. The experience reminded me of this:

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Ron White – Deer Hunting
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