This Land is My Land, Get the Hell Off

From the “what part of his brain did this come from” file: what if we rationed off people into distinct areas and made it purposeful and official?

It’ll never happen and there’s a lot of problems with it, but I’m just thinking out loud here.

Here’s what I mean: stick all the Mormons in Utah, all the gays in California, all the Christians in Texas, all the rich bastards in New York, etc. And I mean all of them. Granted, we kinda do this now, but not officially. We need to set some guidelines.

Every problem we have today is caused by your neighbor being, in your mind, a douche. Really douchey people just say, “Well, if you don’t like it, move.” Ok, but where to? There’s no place to go where I can be guaranteed everything I think I want and need. What if we could solve that problem by turning states into culture zones. We’d all still be the United States and we’d stand by each other in case of war or some calamity, but we’d be out of everyone’s hair.

You like Jesus? Good for you, go to Texas or someplace we designate as “Jesus Land” as opposed to the current approach of taking up everything between the coasts. You think black people are scary? Fine, move to Tennessee. Naturally, we’d locate people where they already kinda clump together. It’d cut down on moving costs.

Maybe then I can move to a truly fiscally conservative, socially liberal and secular wonderland.

Just wonderin’, is all.

Want to know when stuff like this is published?
Sign up for my email list.

Photo of Justin Harter


Justin has been around the Internet long enough to remember when people started saying “content is king”.

He has worked for some of Indiana’s largest companies, state government, taught college-level courses, and about 1.1M people see his work every year.

You’ll probably see him around Indianapolis on a bicycle.

1 thought on “This Land is My Land, Get the Hell Off”

Leave a Comment