You Don’t Know, Dick

This week’s Dick-Move-of-the-Week comes to us from my hometown newspaper in The Salem Democrat. In response to a letter opining about our state’s rural schools from Pat Bauer, some guy says:

Reading your article from the House speaker, our schools are a mess as it is. A little cut back in spending will not harm the children. What needs to be done is is the teachers’ salary cut, the hours a day a child has to go to school is too long — number one. Number two, they don’t need to be carrying all these books home doing homework until midnight every night at home with the parents helping. That’s why we pay a teacher.

Well. Number three, I think someone took a number two inside your skull. Teachers’ salaries only seem high to you because you live in frickin’ Salem. If those teachers lived anywhere else, they’d be in poverty for the first ten years of their life.

Number four, I can agree that they don’t need to take a bunch of books home every day, but from my experience most kids take all those books home because they’re too lazy to walk back to their locker before going to the school bus.

Number five, no kid stays up till midnight working on homework. Except maybe the dumb ones and that just keeps them off mine and your lawns, so be happy.  And, I think we can all agree that no parent helps their kid with homework these days.

Number six, the number of hours they spend in school is debatable. I lean on the side of making school more like “the real world” so it prevents kids from being as lazy as they are. Who on earth decided that children needed a summer off? Do you know how many undergraduates I’ve met that still think they deserve a summer break? We best be nipping that in the bud.

Number seven, next time you have a thought, don’t.

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