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Words that must die with 2018

Here is a selection of words that should be left in the trash along with 2018. These words are terrible. Only pompous wieners use these words. Stop being a pompous wiener.

Artisanal: A word that has lost all meaning when it became used to describe everything from candles to soap to beer to sex toys. It’s got the word “anal” right there in it, I guess.

Bespoke: This one seems to be gaining traction and may be used more in 2019. It’s an old word, which isn’t bad in and of itself. But it does not make you a fancy lad.

Curated: I used to work with a guy who literally curated museum displays. That guy curated things. Unless you work at a museum, you don’t curate squat.

Upcycled: A word that says you made something out of garbage.

Purveyor: Unless you wear a powdered wig, you’re just trying to sound like a fancy lad again.

Award-winning: you paid a fee for the award. Instead, consider Kent Brockman’s classic line: “Award self-nominated”. That way it’s true.

Hand-selected/hand-made: of course you used your hands. Did you make those socks with your knees or click your mouse with your big toe? Until robots take over everything, stop saying this.

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Justin has been around the Internet long enough to remember when people started saying “content is king”.

He has worked for some of Indiana’s largest companies, state government, taught college-level courses, and about 1.1M people see his work every year.

You’ll probably see him around Indianapolis on a bicycle.

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